The Big Corporation Survival Kit (or What you
will NOT learn at University)
Never, ever, play internal politics
The higher one climbs up the corporate ladder, so the likelihood increases of
being drawn into a cadre that will be in competition with or even in conflict
with some other group of executives. Indeed, if functional reporting
relationships are in play, it is a virtual certainty that you will forced to go
with one side and against another. Whilst this can be healthy and invigorating,
it can also be highly dangerous. This danger lies not in having to make a stand
or having to support one view against another but rather in making personal
indirect attacks by setting off rumours or by other forms of innuendo. It might
seem clever at the time and it might pay off for quite a while but at some stage
in the future and most probably when you least expect it, there will be a knife
between your shoulder-blades
Never back one horse, best place an each-way bet on the three favourites
There will be a time in your corporate life when you will become close to an
executive much senior to yourself. It will be an inevitable consequence of a
working relationship. For example, that person could be the one that recruited
you in the first place or maybe for whom you did a special project that found
favour and who has since taken you under his/her wing. It may be that that
person has openly pushed your promotion prospects and highlighted you in some
form of succession planning. This is all well and good but remember the advice
about not playing internal politics. Personal rivalries do exist however subtly
and the man you are backing may not, despite the current odds, survive. If he
does not and you are tarred with his brush, your future is in jeopardy. Without
manoeuvring politically, try to get a working relationship with at least two
other top people
Never fall in corporate love
It is very easy to get an affiliation with a fellow executive at your level or
even junior or senior to you by dint merely of the working relationship or due
to the personality of the person or perhaps mutual friends and family have all
become mixed up with work. Beware since this an emotional attachment akin to
falling in love. Understand that your work is your career and increasingly much
will depend upon its success. Emotions cloud judgement and you absolutely must
be objective about the other person’s performance and actions. Do not fall in
love
Never consider the Board is democratic
This is a tip that you must take to heart and understand and manage carefully.
You may never make the dizzy height of the Board of Directors. But if you do,
the odds are that it is after years of aspiration. This fact heightens the
feeling of self-congratulation that itself hides a delusion. The board is
constituted as a democratic body; one person, one vote aside from the
chairperson who most likely will have a casting vote to decide a split decision.
A constitution is one thing, actual functioning and power bases are quite
another. The managing director or executive chairman got there by personality as
much as ability. He/she is not the type to be crossed, forget democracy – think
autocracy. That way you have a chance to survive and maybe even build a power
base of your own
Never let any religious conviction enter into it
Interpret “doing the Christian thing” as treating your colleagues and
subordinates as fellow human beings with their own feelings and the strengths
and weaknesses common to us all. But that is where your religious conviction
ends. You are not in this business to save the world or even one soul. You are
in it to succeed and in order to hack your way to the top there are people who
will get hurt, by you or because of you. It is as well to address issues of
morality from the outset. If you have no stomach for a few battles, it is best
to come to terms with this fact early on. Some people are simply not suited to
the cut and thrust of corporate life
Never fail to watch your back
If you have any doubt that the sly ones who act by stealth were extinguished
when David Copperfield exposed Uriah Heep, think again. The Uriahs are
everywhere but they may not be red-headed. In fact you are unlikely to recognise
the one that is quietly beavering away to ensnare you. The important thing is to
know that the corporate knifeman is out there and is building his case and
waiting his main chance. Just be careful, take the risks you have to take but do
not make silly mistakes. Technology is a wonderful thing but it does not half
speed up Mr Heep, he will not be poring over the ledgers for years
Never, ever, believe what you are told
It pays to maintain a healthy cynicism of the “facts” as divulged to you from
time to time. What is the truth to one person is not necessarily the truth to
another. Facts, like statistics can be manipulated to suit the case. There is
nothing more likely to throw you off the scent than a cut-and-dried situation.
Ask yourself these questions “Why am I being told this? Could there be an
ulterior motive? How do I check it out for myself?
Never be swayed from logical analysis
People use little tricks to make a decision easier for you to take. A classic is
time pressure. Always be wary if told that a decision has to be made by “x”
time. Your first move is to challenge that “fact”, logic will almost certainly
disprove it. If it really is a deadline that is imminent, why has it taken until
now to come to you? Another classic swerve tactic is the simile. Remember that a
simile is of a different category, if it is different then it is not the same,
so why has it been introduced. The logical reason is to help you make your
decision easily, that is quickly. This is just the same as last time. Logic
dictates that is almost certainly is not. Always do your own analysis and in
your timeframe
Never accept the first proposition
The first proposition that is put to you has not been thought through properly.
It you take this as your maxim, you will not go far wrong. The reason is that
people are inherently lazy. It follows that the idea being put to you is the one
that is blindingly obvious to the proposer, so obvious that there was no need to
spend time on testing out alternatives. But it is the testing that finds the
best solution. Therefore and on principle, reject the first proposition. It is
no skin off your nose if eventually it turns out to be the one chosen
Never be anything but your own man
Always be true to yourself, it may not get you up the ladder the quickest but
your footholds will be sounder than the slippery sods who blow in the wind. We
are not talking about pride, we are talking about sincerity. If you do not
deceive, there will be no tangled web to weave. It can be very tempting to go
with the flow, especially if the tide stems from pressure exerted by the boss
man, but resist it if you do not agree. Remember though that your logic came
from your own objective analysis. You will learn that respect is eventually
everything
Never dismiss booze as the oil of business
You will have learned at university how to drink. The drinking per se is not
important but holding your drink is. People stop acting after enough booze and
lower their defences generally, that is when you learn the most. Be one of the
lads or ladettes but be above them all, one day you may be in top company and
then you will bless the day you took this advice
